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Am I Gay? or am I just shallow?

I love bears/cubs/otters/so-on/so-on. My number one fetish is facial hair. I guess this is how I always assumed that I was Gay. I like men who look like what I think a man should be. Lets face it the "bear" community is about sex. The is one of the main reason bear runs exists, the reason Bear411 exists, even the magazine A Bear's Life has lots of ads with sexual under/over tones. Of course it is the physical attraction that leads to seeing the real man behind the beard, be it good or bad. In most cases it is good. There are a lot of wonderful men out there that I would have never known if I did not find them attractive.
Last night ran across a gorgeous bear-cub on Bear411 and in his profile I saw word "transman". Now, I have watched the Health Channel and a few Discovery shows on Sexual reassignment. The idea of a woofy man that used to be a women did not bother or repulse me at all. Actually, the one or two that I have seen on shows were really hot. This cub, that I chatted with last night, has a wonderful beard and reseeding hair-line and a wonderfully hairy chest. So, I asked him about surgery and he said "about 99% of transmen do not have genital reassignment surgery, most keep their original plumbing" I know that I am being extremely callous, but this was not the "bearded lady". Just the thought of have sex with a woman is disdainful to me. I know lots of women who I consider friends, but I really have no desire to see them even partial unclothed. I guess I must be incredible shallow because I thought of how I would like to get nekkid with this handsome cub. And the thought of haveing sex with this transman was something that still makes my mind wonder.



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 29th, 2006 07:25 pm (UTC)
Transgendered people often get treated more like a novelty fuck object than an actual person. You can avoid this just by being honest with him.

Beyond that, I say go merrily after whatever rocks your world.

Nov. 29th, 2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
I have never thought of anyone as a novelty fuck. My lust is genuine. Is being Gay about the "dick"? I have never been attracted to just a cock. I am much more attracted to the package that the dick is attached to. Don't get me wrong, I like a good fuck and sucking dick can really get me off, but, sex for me is mostly about the foreplay and the touching.
Nov. 29th, 2006 07:41 pm (UTC)
It's hard when you like what you like. But that's just it, you can't change the fact who you are. But I agree with Showmeonthedoll, you have to be honest about how you feel as in the long run it's always easier to hear the truth then a run around.

You can't help what turns you on
Nov. 30th, 2006 02:13 am (UTC)
It's certainly blurry ground -- I too have seen a NUMBER of F>M bears and cubs, and thought: wow, they're fucking HOT, but the whole vagina thing ... yeah. I admit, it's a sticking point for me... -_-

I echo the other sentiments: be honest, and just talk about it. I'm sure this cub has received so many fake excuses and the like that having someone just be straight-up and honest could be refreshing ...
Nov. 30th, 2006 10:40 am (UTC)
yeppers there are some very good looking, really super sweet transmen out there. If you were to end up playing around with the cub you were chatting up I can pretty much say hey you'll have fun.
I play with both trans and non trans men and see it as all being good.
Just as a note I have been with women before and never really felt the connection I do to men. The connection, for me, seems to be to masculinity and not so much what's going on in the pants, because hey no matter what I think I can probably work with whatever plumbing comes my way. It's about two, or more, people enjoying each other and having fun.
Dec. 1st, 2006 02:44 am (UTC)
I see what you are saying. I, personally have never been "with" a woman. And I am sure that is that masculine connection.
Nov. 30th, 2006 10:43 am (UTC)

I have to agree with wearbear,Ive had sex with women and although it was awesome I didnt feel the same connection I feel having sex with a man.

Now you know how most straight men feel when they see a drag queen and think its a hot girl,they question their sexuality,or what it is that they are actualy attracted to in a person.

Go with what feels natural.

(Deleted comment)
Dec. 1st, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)
I doubt that I will even get to chat with the cub again. He does not seem to reply to my greeting. But the information is good to know.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )